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The Continuing Story of Johathan Marahis [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Virtual Pope

[ website | Jon Marquis' Brilliant Humor Writings (A division of Keihl's Incredible Website) ]
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[ archive | journal archive ]

But I Just Brought You the Disco King! [Dec. 3rd, 2009|06:15 am]
Virtual Pope
[Current Location |Severn, MD]
[mood |worriedworried]
[music |Death Cab For Cutie's Open Door EP]

Here's part three of the top 50 albums of the decade.

In other news, I'll be helping out at a meet-and-greet with some of the humor writers for The Onion on Friday and once the much-more-stressful-and-arduous-than-I-thought task of formatting and the final edit with the spec script are done, I'll most likely be sending it out, hopefully within a week (provided this week's episode doesn't make it require many changes again). Needless to say, this coming week will probably result in nothing to further any of my dreams despite my delusions of all improbable fortunate circumstances.
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I'll Buy You Three Diamonds and Keep One In My Anus For When You Need It Most [Dec. 2nd, 2009|05:34 am]
Virtual Pope
[Current Location |Severn, MD]
[mood |tiredtired]

Here's part two of the top 50 albums of the decade.
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My Thanksgiving Has a Surprisingly High Amount of Scrotum Blood, Thanks For Asking [Dec. 1st, 2009|12:46 pm]
Virtual Pope
[Current Location |Severn, MD]
[mood |restlessrestless]

First off, don't let the title worry you. It wasn't my scrotum blood, and it was only talked about, not seen or touched or ingested in any way.

Secondly, I know you've been expect a Part II of my London adventures for a while, but between my spec script and a special project, I haven't had much spare time to write one up. Which brings me to the third part, the special project:

Calle and I compiled a list of the top 50 albums of the decade, and the first batch of write-ups are posted here. I kind of want this set of articles to be huge, at least surpassing the 500 hits record my Michael Jackson article made, and if I don't do a Best of 2009 post, they'll probably be my last articles. So please read and discuss.
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There's a Very Thick Line Between Love and Paperweights [Oct. 4th, 2009|01:00 pm]
Virtual Pope
[Current Location |Severn, MD]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Operation Ivy]


Here's another Six Decades of... article. Most of it's about music, but I also go into a bizarre tangent on YouTube fan videos and Alexis Bledel.
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Being a Music Critic Kinda Sucks Without Free Stuff [Sep. 17th, 2009|09:01 am]
Virtual Pope
[Current Location |Severn, MD]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |Todd Rundgren]


So I wrote a review of the new Big Star box set that I don't own and haven't listened to all the way through. Granted, I have the three original albums practically memorized, and the first disc is streaming on NPR, but I basically worked off the 30 second samples on Amazon for the tracks I don't have, which means I could've missed something important. Ah well, I highly doubt anyone will call me on it.
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Angst! [Sep. 4th, 2009|10:49 am]
Virtual Pope
[Current Location |Severn, MD]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |Os Mutantes]


I haven't done one of these in a while: Here's a music article.
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"She had an affair with Michael Jordan" "Did he jam her space?" [Aug. 18th, 2009|03:11 am]
Virtual Pope
[Current Location |Severn, MD]
[mood |hungryhungry]
[music |CSA: The Confederate States of America on IFC]

So now that we have an HDTV with pretty much every premium cable channel, a DVR, and OnDemand in the living room, I've been watching a lot more movies/TV than listening to music. Hence, my Examiner posts have been pretty scarce. Not having wireless here in this new townhouse for about a month didn't help either. Also, during the move, my mom discovered she had appendicitis, which required surgery and a week's stay at the hospital. And then there was my family's vacation to Mystic, CT last week to celebrate my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. Now that I have wireless and will soon have a TV in my room, I may write more about the new house and that trip and various other life happenings (though probably not--chance are if I do anything, it'll be some pop culture memes that have popped up), and hopefully I'll offer up more Examiner articles (though at this point, I kinda wanna switch my duties to movies). Anyway, here's my scant few contributions:

Here's an article in which I piss someone off by being too non-chalant about music downloading.

Here's an article in which I praise the Black Eyed Peas, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, and Jordin Sparks.

Here's a guest article I wrote for Eric Keihl about Minesweeper.

And here's Keihl returning the favor with a guest article about Frank Zappa.

And in TV-related offerings, I now own the first four seasons of SNL. Also, I've eased my AMC boycott to allow myself to watch Mad Men. I've decided that considering the show's success, there's no hope the channel will go back to its old ways, so now I have to hope that they go more in the direction of quality presentations of quality original programming, which will invariably mean less shitty presentation of oft-shitty movies. I guess that's it for now.
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Somebody Gonna Hafta Answer to Roy Blount, Jr. [Jul. 5th, 2009|08:35 am]
Virtual Pope
[Current Location |Odenton, MD]
[mood |exhaustedexhausted]
[music |P.O.S.]


I spent hours and hours trying to work some manner of decent formatting for this article and it's still utter shit.
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As a Tweeter, I Am Now At Least Three Slang Terms for Vagina [Jul. 1st, 2009|08:23 am]
Virtual Pope
[Current Location |Odenton, MD]
[mood |apatheticapathetic]
[music |Q-Tip]


So I finally got around to two things: getting a Twitter account and adding to the glut of Michael Jackson coverage.
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I Support the Traffic Blocks on Your Face [Jun. 18th, 2009|07:20 am]
Virtual Pope
[Current Location |Odenton, MD]
[mood |blahaimless]
[music |Dan Deacon]


I'm pretty sure at least half of my articles make some sort of penis reference. Here's an article where I talk about masturbation.
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